A rainy day...

On a rainy day, miles from home...

Home is where the heart is, and my heart is in Afghanistan.....it seems these are the days I miss him most. The days he makes me laugh uncontrollably, then has to tell me goodbye. These are the days that make "us". I must admit that I am weak. I am weak without Matthew by my side. He lifts me up briefly each time he calls, just enough to get me to the next time. It really is sad how emotionally dependent you become on someone, particularly when you are pregnant. I have never needed someone so badly or perhaps it has never been where I couldn't have them when I DID need them. There are many nights where dreams of his homecoming wake me only to be alone in a bed with nothing but a body pillow and a cold other side of the bed. My stomach hurts sometimes and I have no reason why, perhaps it is when Matthew is hungry. I am sad sometimes and don't know why.......it just makes me miss him more, but what can i do but sit and anxiously count the days to him coming home and hope it goes according to that plan. Although, inevitably in the military, it won't.

Layla and I had a doctor's appointment today. Everything looks perfect, all the tests they do came out negative which is wonderful. My fundal height is 21 cm which I am 21 weeks, so it is perfect. Layla was kicking the doctor as he was trying to listen to her heartbeat. A bit difficult to find, however, because she was moving so much. He said she is very long, I laughed and informed him that that is exactly what everyone is saying. I know she will be, our little angel. Ultrasound on Monday. To be posted.

Matthew, I love you. I miss you. Have a wonderful day at work.